


Hating Christmas

by Taariesu



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Ordinary People, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Naruto saves the day, Oneshot, Relationship Problems, Romance, Sasuke is a misery, Slice of Life, narusasunaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 05:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2801360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taariesu/pseuds/Taariesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke abhors Christmas, while his boyfriend's enthusiasm for it seems incurable. How in the world do they survive this annual state of emergency?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hating Christmas

Sasuke pushed the door closed with his back and threw the keys carelessly onto the rack in the hallway. A small but heartfelt sigh escaped his lips. What a shitty day! Not only had he been forced to take part in the stupid Christmas party at the office, buy lots for the world's most ridiculous tombola – he'd spent 25 Euros and won an orange juice – and watch computer case advertisements on youtube featuring moderately pretty girls in short Christmas skirts. 

No, to top it off, he'd had to go downtown after work, where he'd faced hordes of panic-stricken Christmas shoppers who scurried through the shops like it was the end of the world. These people never failed to disgust him, year after year. Couldn't anyone in this city be bothered to deal with their obligations ealier than two days before the due date? As if this whole consumption event suddenly fell from the sky! 

He jerked his coat from his shoulders and wrenched at his shoestrings – the reason why he'd had to go into this hell of pre-Christmas pedestrian zone. A torn shoelace. When the cashier had returned his change, she'd dared to wink at him, happily exclaiming “And here's a lucky cent for you!” One might think he'd won the lottery. A wonder he hadn't gone insane yet. He'd had to fight the urge to smash something all day – or someone, if they were stupid enough to try to mess with him.

A strip of warm light fell into the dark hallway from the slightly opened kitchen door. Sasuke heard the clattering of kitchen utensils. A sweetish smell hung in the air.

“Welcome home!” Naruto called cheerfully. “Kiba texted, he asked if we wanted to go to the movies tomorrow! We wanted to see a movie anyway, right? Well first I wasn't sure though, 'cause it's Christmas the next day and you know, maybe you wanted to prepare for that or something, I don't know, but then I kind of ended up saying we're coming anyway, so now we're going to see the _Hobbit_ and I hope that's okay 'cause you kind of said part 1 and 2 were stupid and I didn't talk to you first?”

By the time Naruto stopped talking, Sasuke had finished clearing his coat of melted snowflakes and put it on a hanger. 

“Hn.” 

He headed straight for the living room. Looking in on his boyfriend was out of the question right now. Sasuke wanted nothing but have his peace, preferably by plunging his head into a bell of cooling silence.

He closed the living room door, and let himself be swallowed by his leather armchair. For a few blissful minutes, he just remained sitting like that, apathetically staring holes in the air. The tediousness of this room was refreshing. Just a matching sofa, a neatly tidied glass coffee table, a media cabinet with TV and console, and bookshelves. Everything looked exactly like in the rest of the year: no wobbling candles on the Advent wreath that would probably set the whole apartment on fire one day, no decorative trays brimful with mandarins and walnuts, no grim faced nutcracker that reminded him of an evilly swollen finger from his childhood. Mercifully, there wasn't any blinking holiday lights in sick colors either, nor crookedly cut paper stars on the window or gingerbread aroma in the oil burner. No 'Christmas pyramid' that never rotated anyway, and no chubby-cheeked little angels dangling from fir-branches that smiled in a somewhere between lenient and snide way at the pitiable Christmas denier. To put it briefly, all the things his virus infected boyfriend considered as life-sustaining were banned from this room, which he'd fought hard to maintain as his safe haven. As a result, they clustered in the rest of the apartment in higher concentration.

His eyes suddenly felt heavy. A whole day in resistance was rather exhausting, several weeks even more so. He was about to doze off when someone knocked on the door. Inwardly, he groaned. It was really too much of a hassle to deal with anyone right now, even Naruto. 

If he just ignored him, he'd maybe leave him alone? 

After a few moments of silence, there was another knock, louder than before.

Sasuke dug his thumb and forefinger into the bridge of his nose. He should have known it wouldn't be that easy, shouldn't he. 

“You dead in there?” came a muffled voice through the door. The barely covered cheerful tone already suggested that Sasuke was going to regret this. 

“Hn,” he said spiritlessly, sitting up a bit.

His boyfriend peeked in, looking the exact opposite of how Sasuke felt: bright, very much alive, and even more so, mischievous. Oh-oh. Even without visiting the kitchen, Sasuke knew what Naruto had been doing in there, if the flour-stained red apron was any indication.

“I've got something for you,” Naruto said in a sing-song voice. “Wanna know what it is?”

It couldn't have been worse if he'd come with Pandora's Box. A box full of cookies. And _The Hobbit_. Stay calm, Sasuke thought. You're not going to allow a pompous, phony spectacle like Christmas to endanger your relationship. You're not ... are you?

Naruto stooped for the baking tray he must have put on the floor before knocking. Sasuke sucked in air sharply. Fuck this, he _really_ wasn't in the mood for that. He was about to put him off and make it crystal clear that any bakery products better stay out of his living room, when he stopped short. What Naruto was carrying wasn't the feared maggot-like vanilla crescents. It was a plastic tub filled with fuming hot water. He balanced it carefully across the room, and put the tub down in front of Sasuke's armchair. 

His eyebrows shot up. He wasn't sure what surprised him more: the view of the tub, or the fact that Naruto had managed to bring it here without spilling half of its contents onto the carpet.

So they had bought a foot bath. Or more precisely, it had been Sasuke who'd wanted it, while Naruto only had had Christmas tree decorations on the brain. Originally, it had mostly been an 'if you can spend our money on meaningless stuff, I can as well'-thing. Sasuke had argued that he always got cold feet in the wintertime, and hence wished to put them in hot water every now and then. Since they didn't have a bathtub, just a shower stall, it made sense. Soon though, it had become a real habit. A hot foot soak was actually relaxing, and by now, Sasuke used to sit with his feet in the water almost every evening, reading the part of the newspapers he hadn't had time to finish in the morning. Naruto's mocking didn't concern him in the slightest. It was healthy and hygienic!

The smell of mountain pine reached his nostrils. Admittedly, this was exactly the right thing right now. Hadn't he been so exhausted, he would've prepared a bath himself.

Naruto looked at him expectantly. “Do you want me to roll up your pants for you?!” When Sasuke made no move, his eyebrows furrowed. “You're going to wait until it gets cold or what?” Positioning himself in front of Sasuke, he gave him a challenging look. Unfortunately, he didn't seem like leaving until he saw his mission fulfilled.

“Tch.” Sasuke looked away, ignoring the small pang of guilt. Even though he appreciated Naruto's gesture, he definitely had no desire to talk. If his boyfriend expected some sign of gratefulness, he would have to disappoint him.

Because Naruto didn't move an inch, Sasuke finally gave in and made an attempt at explaining himself, just to get rid of him. Though he couldn't help the annoyance in his voice, and his face certainly said more than clearly _fuck off_!

“Just be quiet for a bit, will you.”

“Actually, I _was_ ,” Naruto retorted angrily. But then the fierceness of his pose crumbled somewhat, and he tried a fake grin instead. “You've had a shitty day, I get it. It's okay. I'm going back to work.” After he was through the door, he turned once more. “I'll be in the kitchen”.

Well, that was one superflous thing to say. Sasuke let out a long breath. Fuck Christmas! That was to blame for his sour mood, and now the one person that deserved it least had been on the receiving end of it. Though it felt good to finally be alone. Damn good.

He took off his socks, rolled up his pants, and dipped his feet into the steaming water. Naruto shouldn't have prepared it for naught at least. Oh yes, to sit like this, arms hanging, eyes closed, a pillow supporting his neck ... Naruto must have caught his mood the moment he'd heard his pathetic greeting. Maybe he hadn't even come with the intention to stay with him until the water got cold. Probably. 

Now that he had his peace, his body started to relax. Even the muscles in his face didn't feel so tense anymore. Like this, he might even manage a grimace that at least resembled a smile. Which was a quite useless feat with no one around to appreciate it. 

 

A considerable amount of time later, Sasuke went to the kitchen, leaving the light in the hallway out. _Last Christmas_ droned on the radio, his least favorite song ever. Naruto was humming along softly while he filled dough into a small pointy plastic bag with a white scraper. The kitchen looked like a battlefield, the countertop and kitchen table one big chaos of half-burnt baking paper, used bowls, dough splashes, and opened packs of vanilla sugar, rum aroma, jam, and white flour. On the floor next to the organic waste bin lay a broken eggshell.

There was no place to sit since even the chairs were being used as a storage surface. Sasuke leaned against the door frame. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Naruto didn't turn around. 

Sasuke stared at the red knot on his boyfriend's back, bracing himself. 

“I...” His mouth suddenly felt a little too dry. He started again, feeling utterly incapable, and finally managed to mutter something along the lines of 'guess, ass, earlier'. It didn't matter anyway because the words came out so unwilling and feeble that the brainless squealing on the radio drowned them completely.

Naruto must at least have heard him say something though, because he stopped in his movements. His shoulders tensed visibly. 

“Just shut up, will you.”

His tone was strangely neutral. Which of course meant that he was severely pissed. Sasuke's jaws clenched and he straightened, ready to step back into the dark hallway to go – well, some place where he'd escape the curse of making things even worse. 

Apparently, Naruto had heard him shift. “You really suck at apologizing, you know that?” He shot him a look over the shoulder with sparkling eyes. “So damn pitiful, it makes me wonder why I wanted to outdo you in the first place.”

Sasuke blinked, then let out an astounded snort. That look was nothing but sassy. They kept staring at each other until the corner of Naruto's mouth suddenly started twitching. 

“Don't give me that look. I'm not mad, okay?”

You were, Sasuke almost said before he stopped himself. Instead his mouth grunted something unintelligible that Naruto could interpret like he wanted. If the other didn't feel like rubbing it in, then why should he?

Naruto went back to meddling with the cookies. Sasuke felt pretty useless in comparison and started clearing the chaos in the kitchen. After he'd disposed of everything but the eggshell – no way in hell he'd bend over because of a baking frenzy – there was nothing left to do. The leaden tiredness in his bones was screaming for him to fall onto his mattress and simply forget about this waste of a day. He glanced to the dark hallway. It would take at least twelve steps. The bedroom was pretty far away from the kitchen. He'd never noticed before.

Instead of going to sleep, he stepped closely behind Naruto, which took him only one step, and put his arms around his boyfriend's waist.  
Naruto didn't object and continued filling the white appliance that had been introduced to their household as a 'forcing bag'. Fascinated against his will, Sasuke watched him keep the bag shut with one hand while pressing dought out with the other in a rather diligent way, creating a row of seahorse shaped slices on the baking tray.

Mmmh. Naruto's skin felt so nice and warm ... Sasuke pressed against his back and slipped his hands under Naruto's apron and shirt, where he stroked small circles onto his belly with his thumb, enjoying the feeling of well-defined muscles under his fingers. Even though he produced sweets like a world champion, Naruto didn't usually gain weight in the Advent season as he ate none of them himself, but wrapped them up in shiny sachets, which he gave away as presents.

Naruto bumped Sasuke's crotch lightly with his ass. “Up for some make-up cuddling?” he teased.

“I don't do cuddle,” Sasuke mumbled against his neck. 

“Yeah, right.” Naruto gave him an ironic smile and continued working until the tray was filled with the most obscure of figures. The cat face was barely recognizable – or was that supposed to be a fox? To top it off, he started writing 'S+N'.

Sasuke snorted against his temple. “Are we in elementary school?”

Now a heart was made around the letters. “Sure. In elementary school, I still beat the crap out of you.” 

“If I may assist you in correcting that. We didn't know each other until in junior high, and you wouldn't even be able to speak one coherent sentence to me, let alone beat me in _anything.”_

That made Naruto turn half around, an incredulous expression on his face. “What? That's so not true! I could very well make _co-he-rent_ sentences!” 

“I never denied that.” Sasuke smirked, pausing for effect. “Though you didn't seem capable of anything but _yelling_ them at me.” 

“Hey, you deserved my yelling! And the beating too!” Naruto reached up to tug lightly on a wayward strain of hair that had fallen into Sasuke's face. “Especially 'cause every time we fought it was me who got the detention. Just because you had good grades and I was chocolate-face open-zipper-guy. So unfair!” 

Oh yes, Sasuke remembered _that_. “Well, I'm truly sorry,” he said smugly. 

Naruto chuckled, making Sasuke narrow his eyes in suspicion. 

“Now that wasn't so hard, was it? Took you only eleven years to apologize, though.” 

“Shut up.” Sasuke took him by the shoulders, turning him around so that he faced the tray again. “Clean up here.” 

“I'm not finished yet!” 

“Don't you think you've made a sufficient amount of them?” There were three huge boxes standing in the corner, filled to the brim with cookies of various colors and forms. “If you want to cure world hunger, grow some crops instead.” 

“Yeah whatever, smartass.” He wiped away Sasuke's hands from his shoulders. “Just the rest of this, then I'm done. The shortbread cookies are the best, you'll see.” 

With a low grumble, Sasuke pressed his lips against his neck. Watching his boyfriend's hands work was somewhat mesmerizing. Strangely enough, how the whitish mass was slowly pressed out of the small opening put some funny thoughts into his poor overwrought brain. He held Naruto a little tighter. 

“I'd have a taste of _your_ short bread...” 

“He-hee. I can provide you with _that_ anytime. Though I really want to see how you handle that it's not as short down here as you seem to be thin-” Naruto froze, his hand hanging in mid-air over the tray. “Do you know what you just did?!” 

Sasuke made an effort to avert his eyes from the thin chunk of dough that hung down from the forcing bag. Somehow it looked rather unhappy there, wanting out completely but being stuck halfway. 

He tried to make a straight face. “I made a suggestion at your level of cringeworthy vulgarity?” 

“You robbed Christmas baking of its innocence!” Naruto stared at the forcing bag as if it had personally disappointed him. The dough chunk was still dangling without falling down. “There's nothing sexual about this! There wasn't, before _you_! How am I ever supposed to make these cookies again!” 

His horrified expression was rather amusing. _He_ had started bombarding Sasuke with his x-rated connotations, always and everywhere. It was entirely his fault. Sasuke just smirked and started to suck lightly on his neck. A low growl escaped from Naruto's lips, but then he shoved Sasuke away, turning halfway around in his arms once more. 

“Don't try to wiggle yourself out of this,” he said in the poor attempt at keeping his sulky face. 

“Do you see me wiggling?” 

“And anyway, weren't you supposed to be tired?” 

“Very much so.” 

After finally putting the stupid bag down, Naruto turned in Sasuke's arms completely until the tips of their noses touched. There was a reddish shimmer on his cheeks. 

“How about we go to bed then? I mean,” he waggled his eyebrows, “not for sleeping? Sure, you're pooped and all, but ...” 

“Complete your sentence, moron.” 

Naruto touched Sasuke's cheek with a dough-crusted thumb, an impish grin on his face. Then he bowed forward suddenly and caught his lips in a lemony kiss. A touch of powdered sugar was in it as well. Closing his eyes, Sasuke snuck his hand into the sleeve of Naruto's t-shirt to stroke his shoulder while they kissed. Naruto's pleased hum vibrated comfortingly against his chest, and he realized that he'd been thirsting all day for a kiss like this. 

About three and a half songs later, they parted. Naruto raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

“You don't have to do anything.” His cheeks were still flushed, from their kiss and maybe from what he was implying. “I do the work, you enjoy.” 

Sasuke brought their foreheads together, unwilling to let him draw away again. “Doesn't sound too bad, coming from a hyperactive guy like you,” he murmured. 

Although he didn't seem quite able to put himself together, of course he was up for it. Since they'd stopped fighting, sex had been his greatest stress relief, and Naruto would surely give his all to contribute to the feast of love, or something. Plus, why should he lift even one finger if he didn't have to? 

Naruto pulled Sasuke's hand out of his sleeve and pulled him along the hallway to the bedroom. Sasuke padded after him like a lost Duracell bunny, or rather one from the weak battery reference group. 

Once in the bedroom, Naruto quickly freed them both from their clothes. When he crawled around on the bed to tenderize the cushions, his skin looked admirably soft in the light of all the candles, tea lights and star-shaped lamps. Sasuke licked his lips as an evil little plan started to evolve in his head starring the insufferable apron, a glacéed apple ballgag and an otherwise naked Naruto. Not today, though. The surprise effect would have been too little. 

Naruto, who'd already made himself comfortable, held up the blankets invitingly. His eyes had taken on a dark shade of blue in the candlelight. “Now come here.” The rough edge to his voice made Sasuke join him with a happy swirl in his stomach. 

Naruto traced the line of Sasuke's eyebrow, blowing a gush of warm air into his ear. “For you, I'll agree solemnly to the ultralazy version of 'take you from behind'.” 

Sasuke took his face between his hands and engaged him in a slow, languorous kiss. “Just go ahead … and make sure I don't fall asleep.” 

“Why? That would be your loss, not mine,” Naruto grinned. 

Confident hands turned Sasuke around to lie flat on his stomach, one knee pulled up to his side. He could hardly keep his eyes open. 

“You talk too much,” he slurred. “Get to work.” 

He pressed his face into the cushion, inhaling Naruto's scent deeply, raising his ass just a tiny bit from the mattress. For some weird reason, the forcing bag dangled into his mind again. It was kind of sad that that white stuff hadn't come out completely. 

* * *

Later, lying huddled up to one another under the blankets and with Naruto's breath ghosting over his neck, Sasuke found that all this superfluous decoration with its pulsating red, warm lights and countless candles probably wasn't _just_ bad. It created a certain atmosphere, something ceremonial that even he found hard resisting. At least when Naruto lured him out of his somber December lethargy as dedicatedly as he had just done. A feast of love, all right ... Somewhat irritated over his own wayward thoughts, Sasuke eyed the pattern on cushion and blanket. Snow flakes … was that really necessary? 

He tickled the palm of Naruto's hand, which hung loosely over his chest. The fingers twitched. 

“We have to change the sheets.” 

“Huh!” Naruto started loudly, blinking at him with a confused expression. Then he scratched his chest and yawned like a lion. Instead of letting himself fall back again and continue sleeping, he actually pushed the blanket to the side, stretched, and got out of bed with a low grumble. 

Sasuke followed his naked body with his eyes when he went to the cupboard. There weren't any ulterior motives hidden beneath his suggestion, oh no. He just wanted to sleep in a clean bed like a decent human being. When he was sure Naruto wasn't looking, a sly grin crept on his face. It definitely had its benefits that they'd made such a mess earlier. Now even Naruto couldn't deny that getting rid of that hideous bedding was a good idea. 

… or so he thought until Naruto turned around, booming as if he'd just had a personal encounter with Santa Claus. He held fresh quilt covers in both hands. 

“Which one do you like more, the one with the Christmas trees or the angels?” 

Sasuke's scream of horror echoed through the ceiling all the way up to the majestic weathercock on the roof, overseeing the wintery street from under its red-and-white Santa hat. 

**Author's Note:**

> Uploading the first of my older fics.  
> Now seemed a good time for this oneshot, not just because it's that time of the year again ... with all that's been going on since November, I feel the need for a little break from dealing with the manga ending, and editing this fic was just the right thing to do.  
> Regardless of whether you could live without Christmas like Sasuke, or enjoy it like I imagine Naruto would, I hope you had fun reading!  
> 


End file.
